The beginning: Careless Caio, Tabitha the tumour and the C-bomb.

How the lump on my chest turned things upside down and the process I went through before and during my diagnosis. Here is my story on how it all began.

Caio Katz ran into me full speed during mixed lacrosse training. 'What an asshole' I thought at first.

A few weeks later I started getting upper back pain and a lump appeared on my chest. Prick. I took myself to the doctors and he prescribed 6 paracetamol and 6 Ibuprofen a day. Then I went back and Dr Fiona Sage, a different doctor, didn't like the look of Libby the lump (later called Tabitha the tumour). She sent me to have a few blood tests and then told me that I should have my mother down to take me to the hospital for more tests. Given that I lived in Falmouth and home was 5 hours away and that my mother is a definite character I thought that this was more hassle than it needed to be.

"Really Dr Sage, I don't need my mother for some swelling on my chest".

Nevertheless, my brother Hugo drove my mother down and we treated it as a jolly weekend. At the hospital on January 26th my name was called and I bounded over to the doctor smiling and sticking my hand out. I remember thinking that it was very rude when he didn't return the same happy smile. He asked me if I had any idea what the lump might be and my positive and naïve attitude came up with "err an inflammation from the impact? A large zit? Mumps?". "No" and that’s when he dropped the C bomb.

If you have been attacked by the C bomb then you know the mix of emotions that arise: fear, confusion and anxiety were the three big ones, then came the tears and then the questions

"Can I still play lacrosse?", "Can I carry on with my degree?" and "can I still get drunk?". No, no and no. Like that, all of the things that I enjoyed the most in life were ripped away from me in one conversation.

The word 'cancer' has such a strong stigma attached to it and for the first time in my life was forced to look at my mortality. I was 19, ate a well balanced diet and was captain of the lacrosse team, on the whole I lived a healthy lifestyle (aside from the few student binge drinking episodes). Shit luck. The confusion set in when they started using doctor words - I didn’t even know what the lymphatic system was for Pete's sake.

After the meeting I was ushered into various rooms for more tests. I had an ultrasound, a biopsy and a CT scan (funny one as it makes you feel like you've wet yourself). We then went to get some food and I had 2 double gin and tonics. That day Hugo drove us home and that’s when the chocolate and orange biscuits came out to sooth the tears.

Telling my friends and family gave me immense support and hearing their kind words really got me through a very difficult few days.

Oh and then came the sympathy presents: heaven. It started with a Fortnum and Mason cheese hamper from my Falmouth crew, they do know how to please a girl and then Will Caplan with the box of donuts. Things were definitely started to look up especially when my boyfriend flew over from Dublin the next day. It was this support network that helped me see the light and I hope that whoever is going through this diagnosis has the same support as I did.

By the time it came round to my official diagnosis and treatment plan I was ready to brave the challenge that was ahead. My formal diagnosis is Early unfavourable classical Hodgkin lymphoma (stage IIA). At the moment, my plan consists of 6 cycles (1 cycle is equivalent to 4 weeks) of ABVD and hopefully if my PET scan on the 23rd April (after cycle 2/6) comes out negative then I with drop the B as it can cause lung damage and carry on my next 4 cycles. If I am not so lucky then I will either escalate to a harsher chemo BEACOPP or I will have proton therapy either in Florida or Germany (I think we know which one I might chose).

Now that I have shared my diagnosis with you, I want to do my part to raise awareness for Cancers of the Lymphatic system such as Hodgkin lymphoma. I experienced mild symptoms which is why it took a while (4 months) from when the lump appeared to get diagnosed. I also accounted my symptoms to the stress of uni work and tiredness of driving long miles over the Christmas period. Also in today’s society unless you are into mindfulness or yoga we rarely connect with our bodies and I never took the time to slow down and think “am I ok?”. Something that I do so regularly now.

My symptoms included:

- Upper back pain,

- The lump on my chest - Tabitha

- A few lumps below my collar bones

- Fatigue

However, it must be noted that we are still not sure whether the back pain was related to the cancer or the collision as it was fixed by the Mctimoney Chiropractor before my chemo started. It is possible that whilst the chiropractor did fix my back it may have been the lump pushing on it that caused it so much discomfort. In addition, a few weeks before my chemo started I caught a cold and the night before the cold started I had night sweats.

Other people experience symptoms such as:

- Lumps on the neck, under their armpits or groin

- Unexplained weight loss (would have welcomed this one)

- Fever like symptoms

- Night sweats

- Persistent itching

If you are between the ages of 16-25 and you are experiencing any of these symptoms it is a good job to get yourself to the doctor as catching any cancer at an earlier stage is beneficial.

Finally, I want to thank Caio Katz for running into me as if he hadn’t then I wouldn’t have gone to the doctors with back pain and I wouldn’t be curing my cancer today. You lovely boy.

For my next blog I will be discussing the questions that I had in between my initial appointments and the day I started treatment. I had lots of questions and now I have the answers to them so I will be sharing them for anyone who has recently been diagnosed and wants to know more. I will also be discussing the lifestyle change that cancer may have and why I chose to move back home and differ my year at uni.

For more information on lymphoma here is an amazing site that tells you everything you need to know from the symptoms to different types of treatments: https://lymphoma-action.org.uk/

Here is a picture of the fool that is my lovely friend Caio and the effects of night sweats...